As a mom of four, there are several words or phrases that I have learned to dread over the last ten years. It never fails that once these words leave my boy’s mouths chaos erupts. I am sure we have all heard them from time to time and if your little ones are too small to utter them just yet, let this serve as your warning.
1. “Oops” – This can be said anywhere and at anytime of the day. It can mean something as simple as wet pants or as dramatic as three broken windows because they thought it would be okay to play baseball in the house with golf balls because they are smaller you know.
2. “I Didn’t Mean To” – This is the phrase children will use to try and convince you that something that they did was an accident, thus implying that they should not be punished for said act. Yeah, well when said act is hitting your brother in the head on purpose, “I didn’t mean to” doesn’t fly.
3. “It wasn’t me” – This almost always means “It was me, but I am going to make you question me and my brothers for an hour before I finally admit it.”
4. “Are We There Yet?” – Oh yeah, nothing like hearing this phrase twenty million times during a road trip and trust me, if you ignore them, they only ask more.
5. “Mommy” (After the 500th time in a day) – There used to be a time when I thought I would never get tired of the word mommy. I longed for the day my children would say it and it used to be the sweetest sound on Earth. Now, after a certain point in my day or week, I dread hearing the word. I have tried to change my name to Fred before, but they won’t go for it. If they think you aren’t listening to them, this word will be uttered incessantly like nails on a chalkboard until you answer them!
6. “Mommy, I cut my hair” – When they say this, it will sound like a good thing. When you actually look at them, it will be very very bad. Three of my four children have either cut their own hair or their brothers. In fact, my 7 year old actually cut the hair of a boy in his class and when I asked him about it he said “Well, he said thank-you mommy.”
7. “I don’t love you” – You may think you are immune to this most dreaded phrase, but I assure you that you are not. Almost every parent will hear this from their kid’s mouth at least once. It basically means “You won’t give me what I want and I am mad.” It’s emotional blackmail, just ignore it and they will stop.
8. “Why” – This could quite be the most annoying word ever invented. Why can’t I do this, why is she doing that, why is that green, why is this blue. There will come a point when no matter what your answer is, another “why” question will be able to be formed. It will become a never ending cycle that is only silenced by a padded cell (okay just a good nights sleep, but you get the picture).
9. “You didn’t really want insert object that you really love here did you?” – If they are asking this, you can bet your batookie that the named item is already smashed into a million pieces. They are only asking this as an indirect way to tell you they have destroyed your prize possession. It beats finding a blenderized nick knack hiding under the rug, but it still is something you don’t want to hear.
10. “In a Minute” – A child’s minute is like an month in adult time. If you hear this phrase, you should either do it yourself or insist that they do it now. For example. If you say “Feed the dog” and they say “In a minute,” you should do it or insist that it is done now or the dog will be near death by the time that minute comes. This phrase is often followed by “I forgot” so eliminating one ensures you never have to hear the other.