4 Positions You Qualify for After Being a Parent

rash

We all know the economy is in a slump right now. So, I got to thinking about new jobs or positions that could be created for which parents would qualify. I mean, these things may not be actual positions right now, but who says there is not a place for them in the workforce? If you have been a parent for any length of time, then you would likely be an expert at any of the jobs listed below.


Professional Poop Inspector


I am almost positive that an actual position like this exists, but I am sure it has a much more professional and long winded name. If it doesn’t exist, maybe you could hit up the local proctologist for referrals? I mean, how many parents make it through the baby and toddler years without a thorough knowledge of all types of doo?

Professional Rash Googler and Random Guessing Specialist

How many times has one of your children gotten a mysterious rash? Now, how many times have you honestly ran off to Dr. Google to help randomly guess the thing that is afflicting your child? I mean, it does have a complete collection of images and various descriptions, so you are bound to be right at least 10 percent of the time. Right?

Professional Band-aid Applier and Boo Boo Kisser

Surely there is a place somewhere in this world for a professional boo boo kisser. How would our children have ever survived without the magic healing powers that are contained in our kisses? Don’t forget, it takes quite a bit of skill to place those band-aids just right too. This job unfortunately only serves a small niche group though, because once a patient hits a certain age, our kisses lose all magical powers and just become embarrassing.

Professional Sock Matcher

Having four boys myself, I cannot tell you how many pairs of socks I have matched in the last 11 years. You would think that I would have gotten smart and bought all the same type of socks, but no, I had to mix it up so that I could finely tune my sock matching ability. Can’t make it too easy. Hit up the local laundry mat for customers if you think you’ve got what it takes.

See, those are just four of the great self-made professions that are waiting for you after you become a parent. Who says you are good for nothing after your children become old enough to think for themselves? You have a whole store of honed skills to pull from in order to land any of the positions listed above. Good luck!

20 Comments

  1. Oooh, I'd pay someone to come match socks for me. I hate doing it, and little socks are the worst!

  2. Exactly Jenn. I just Googled something that was written on my ultrasound form today because I didn't understand it LOL.

  3. LOL — all THREE of my kids have a mysterious rash right now … following their weird virus last week …. and it is ALL I can do not to try and google-diagnosis it!

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