Today I am going to be a little personal with you. In light of the recent events in the news, it got me thinking. How will the people who witnessed these things deal with them? How will these little children get through and function with these nightmares in their heads? Then I realized, that many people have dealt with horrible things in their lives, myself included. Mine was not so much one horrific event or even on the level of what those recently have experienced, it was more of an ongoing series of traumatic events that led me to forget.
That’s right. I forgot. I remember only bits and pieces from those few years. Specifics about when my oldest boys were a babies are long forgotten. Joshua’s first words, Jayden’s favorite toy, and perhaps the most hurtful, Jordan’s birth are completely wiped from my memory. I remember being pregnant with Jordan and I can recall vague memories from when he was little, but the actual birth which was natural and unmedicated is completely gone. Fortunately, so are most of the horrible memories from that time, but they took the good ones with them.
Sometimes I think I would give anything to have those memories back. To remember the time that we as moms always try to cling to. Those precious early years, but then I think of the consequences. If I remember the good, the bad is likely to come flooding back as well and surely there was a reason my mind tried to shield me from it. Again, I think. What memories will these little children lose as their minds try to block out these recent events? Sometimes forgetting isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.