My oldest turned 13 this summer. Oh boy. You know, when they tell you that the teenage years are harder than the baby years, you really don’t believe them. It is though, its harder in an all new challenging way. Gone is the little boy that used to cuddle with me and let me rock him to sleep. He has now been replaced with a hormonal young man who thinks I am out to ruin his life, and who can barely stand to be seen doing anything that could be perceived as babyish in public. And I worry. I worry if I am a good enough mom to keep him out of trouble during these years when his brain has clearly left the building when it comes to rational decisions. Can’t someone invent a magic mirror so we can see if it will all turn out okay on the other side of the teenage years?
Kids don’t come with instruction manuals, and oh how I wish that they did. Joshua probably scares me the most. He has ADHD and ODD, and sometimes he sounds so much like his biological dad that it scares me. His dad was a drug addict, and part of me really hopes it isn’t a genetic predisposition in some way, because the ADHD and ODD certainly seem to have been. As parents, it is so difficult to know if we are making the right decisions.
I am a pretty strict mom. I know where Joshua is every minute of the day, but how long can that last? He will be 16 soon and driving, and I worry about whether I have created a strong enough bond, and created a good enough foundation of morals that he will walk the straight and narrow into adulthood. That’s our lot in life as parents though. Isn’t it? We worry about them from the time they first arrive with tiny finger and tiny toes. Although they stop wanting to be our babies, they can never escape our need to want to shelter and take care of them. I guess it comes down to doing your best and praying that it’s enough, but that magic mirror should would be nice.