Please teach your child that material things are not the way to judge a person and that making negative comments about what someone else does or does not have is not a nice thing to do. My son was trying hard to get your daughters’ attention along with the attention of the other little girls who were with her. They are about the same age as my son, and he is very friendly. He loves to make friends wherever we go.
So, when he heard your daughter mention her pop-up camper, he piped in that we had one too. Your daughter’s response was to say “I know, I saw it and it’s really small.” What is a little boy to say to that? Being the kind of person he is, a person who sees only good in people, he bounced back with “I know, it’s all my mom could afford. It was $200.” Your daughter’s response was to laugh and turn away. Now, it was not $200, it was $2,200 and then nearly another $1,000 for the electric breaks and title transfer, but he’s right, it’s all I can afford. See, the comment your daughter made in an effort to get rid of my son didn’t cut him to the bone, but it did me. Thoughts of “Am I not providing enough for my boys” are stilling swishing through my mind this morning as I write this post.
I am basically a single mom. I have no husband to come along on these trips and help me with the boys, no man who brings home the bacon. No, I do that from the road on trips like this 70 day adventure I have decided to take my boys on. Don’t worry, your daughter is not the first we have encountered to make a comment like that on this trip. Sadly, it has been said before. It makes me wonder though, why do children feel the need to judge others on what they have? Why is it acceptable to make a condescending remark about what they have?
I’m doing the best I can, I spent days and countless hours fixing the inside of this tiny pop-up camper up (which is all my van could safely pull) so that it would not be an embarrassment to my boys, but a bright and cheerful place where we could make memories all summer long. I was proud of it, but now, I’m not feeling so strongly about that pride. I am happy with what I have, because I know how hard I worked to get it. The point is, these children have to be learning this judgment by materialistic possessions from somewhere, and I suspect it must be from home. Me, I would be happy to travel the world in my little pop-up camper and never think twice, I don’t need a lot, but when it comes to feeling like I am not providing enough for my boys, those words cut deep.
Anyway, you will likely never read this, but if by some chance you do, please think about teaching your daughter that everyone does what they can and purchases what they can afford, and that’s not something to snark at. If you have something better than someone else, that is fantastic and something you can be proud of, but gives you no right to put down what others have.
A Mom Who’s Trying Her Best