I would bet pretty good money that the majority of us, were probably spanked at one point or another by our parents. I would also bet, that the majority of us (yes there are exceptions) were not scarred for life by this event. I myself, was spanked and with a belt on several occasions. I in no way hate my parents or think that they were abusive, but at the same time, I have chosen not to parent this way.
Sometimes I wonder though, are those of us who choose not to spank doing so for fear that if we do, we risk losing our children (even though corporal punishment by parents is legal in every state)? I will be honest here. On very rare occasions, I have spanked my children on the butt, three times, with an open hand, with their pants still on. This is reserved for extremely rare cases, like when my now 10 year old decided to try out calling me the “B” word one day about 4 years ago. You know what though? He has never called me it again. I can probably count on one hand the number of times I have swatted my children on the butt and never with a belt.
Does that mean that I think those who choose to spank are wrong? Nope. I believe that everyone has the right to parent as they see fit. Quite frankly, different children respond to different forms of consequences, just as they all love in different ways and have totally different personalities. Unfortunately, my view and open mindedness is not a common theme in the world today and I think many parent’s choices are being stifled by those who would say “tsk tsk” or take drastic measures to “protect” a child that is not in any danger (again, there are exceptions).
What I do know, is that when my parents told me to do something, I did not talk back, I did not whine and I did not yell at them (all things my own children have done to me). Is this because my parents chose to spank? I don’t know, but sometimes I wonder if the growing unruliness and disrespect that the children and then adults of the world are showing, is directly proportionate to the decline of spanking in the home. It is important to add here, that I choose not to spank in my home because it is just not something I can bring myself to do, not because I am absolutely and totally against it.
What are your thoughts? Do you spank? If you choose not to, do you condemn those who do, or are you at least open to varying methods of parenting? I am not condoning abuse here, I wanted to make that clear! The legal standard says that spanking is okay as long as it is done with an open hand, on the butt, not excessively and without another object. It also needs to not leave a bruise or marking after several hours. (Yes, I looked it up.)
I feel like I need to put a disclaimer here first. I have no agenda with this post, it is not to point fingers or put down anyone who believes one way or another. It is simply because I hope to foster a healthy and open minded discussion on the topic. If you can’t adhere to these guidelines, please don’t post a comment. I won’t have people being attacked on my blog. I do however welcome conversation and the stating of your own opinions as long as they are done in a respectful manner.