You would think that will all the horrible crimes happening around us each day, state officials would have something better to do with their time than make up completely loony and ridiculous laws. Seriously, some of these laws make you wonder what exactly those bureaucrats were sipping at the time the law went into effect. While some of these are surely antiquated, the fact that they are still active is a crime in itself. Check out these 20 stupid laws from various states across the nation.
1. In Florida, you cannot fart in public after 6PM on Thursdays, so get all your farting done at 5:59PM or hold it until Friday!
2. When robbing a bank in Los Angeles, remember that it is illegal to shoot the teller with your water pistol. Let this be a lesson, use a real gun instead.
3. Want to beat your wife? Go to South Carolina, where on every Sunday you can beat her on the court house steps. Don’t do it at the grocery store on Saturday, just hold on a little longer and take her to the courthouse on Sunday. Really people?
4. Don’t put your violin in a paper bag when you take a walk in Salt Lake City, Utah, it’s illegal. Put it in a plastic bag instead.
5. When you jump off a building in New York, you better get the job done the first time. Why? Because the penalty for jumping off a building in the city is death. Who would have thought?
6. Does your kid like pinball? If you live in South Carolina, they could find themselves in juvie. It is illegal for anyone under the age of 18 to play pinball there. I wonder if it counts if the pinball game is on the iPad and not an actual pinball machine? Want to test it out?
7. If you live in Montana, your sheep better have a chaperone when riding in the cab of your truck. That’s right, we know what you would do to that poor innocent sheep if a chaperone weren’t around buddy. I’m sorry, but this one made me laugh my head off!
8. In New Mexico, it is illegal for a woman to appear unshaven in public. I guess I won’t be visiting New Mexico in the winter then.
9. When you go hunting in Tennessee, please remember it is illegal to shoot any game other than …. wait for it….. whales, from a moving vehicle. Skip the dear, but shoot all the Tennessee whales you want from your truck. Good luck with that one.
10. Ohio declares that it is illegal to get a fish drunk. Stop letting your Oscar sip Jack Daniels for goodness sakes people! On second thought, how do they know when a fish is drunk? Does it swim crooked? Does it slur its bubbles?
11. Your donkey cannot sleep in your bathtub in Arizona. Make him get out when he is done in the shower.
12. Wow! Remember the chaperoned sheep law? Well if making love to animals is your thing, take your sheep over to West Virginia, but make sure its not a fattie. In West Virginia, it is legal to have sex with an animal as long as it is under 40 pounds. What the heck?
13. In Rhode Island, you may not bite off another persons’ leg. How did they know what my Saturday night plans were?
14. You may not pee in your neighbor’s mouth in Champaign, Illinois. Go the next town over and do it there instead?
15. Keep your illegitimate child count down to one in Mississippi unless you want to go to jail for at least a month. Two illegitimate children will land you in the slammer.
16. Like to photograph bunnies? If you live in Wyoming, you better do it before January, it is illegal to photograph a rabbit from January to April without a permit. They need their privacy during bump and grind season you know.
17. You can shoot a bear in Alaska, but if you wake one up to take its picture, you are going to jail baby. That is, if the bear doesn’t eat you first.
18. Connecticut is the state of stupid dogs. Why? Because it is illegal to educate a dog there. Do not teach rover to sit or you may face jail time.
19. Fountain Inn in South Dakota is a really ritzy place. No horses are allowed into the establishment unless they are wearing pants. The indecency of it all!
20. When in Georgia, if it is Sunday, you better not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket. Put it in your front one instead.
For the record, the no donkeys in bathtubs law appeared in quite a few states. What is it with you people and your bathtub dwelling donkeys?